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biography of a deviant
- by alex kimball

she grew up reading
chinese folktales
in the corner
and nineteenth century
novels about white men
who appropriated red culture

she grew up surrounded by love
yet she hated herself
she can pray to a god
who abandoned her
but would rather call out
to a goddess
whose white light
has baptized her anew

she had friends
but left them
she had new friends
and they left her
as they grew up
no one wanted her

her roommate is
a plaid little bear
named DANTE
yet she has not
abandoned all hope
nor has she traveled the road
to hell
for it is paved
with good intentions
and she has none

she is tender and
over sensitive
but is a bitch
to those who once knew her
she is a fucking
QUEER
a queer boy

in his wifebeater and tee shirt
in his cargo pants and sneakers
he is strong, a boy of high regard
with short spiked hair
he is the son
his parents never wanted
but love anyway
no matter what
no fucking matter what!

he dances to a homoerotic beat
and wants to lose his virginity
in a one night stand
just to say it’s gone
and that it’s no longer
such a damn big deal

he’s ashamed of events
that happened five years ago
but can’t recall what was for lunch
he’s directionless
but
at least
he’s not in the cave
instead, out in the shadowlands
searching for a gateway
to Narnia and Aslan
even though he doesn’t believe
in the man on the cross
being his savior
He never saved him from himself
but left him to bleed
beaten by the stormtroopers
of this motherfucking country
that would so harshly judge him.

and he, is me.

...finis...

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